Having a baby is totally AMAZING but let’s be honest for a second. It can be kinda scary, mega hectic and ridiculously lovely all meshed into one. There’s so much the books don’t cover and your friends forget to tell you. Here are some things I learnt on the job!
1. Say goodbye to sleep
2. Say goodbye to sleep (no that was not a typo).
3. One size does NOT fit all. What works for somebody else’s child may not work for yours.
4. Washing your hair alone becomes a treat.
5. You’ll be surprised at how much you can actually do with only one free arm.
6. Pram envy is a real thing.
7. Casually “doing coffee” does not happen anymore.
8. People will ask you what you did all day and you will want to punch them in the face.
9. Times your laundry pile by about three (for each kid, they’re dirty little guy).
10. Your appearance takes a back seat to a few minutes extra sleep.
11. Changing a boy’s nappy is a delicate operation. Watch your face. Seriously.
12. Kids know where to find the lollies. Hide them. Hide them good.
13. When people invite you to things your first thought will be “Will it interrupt nap time?”
14. Going to work can sometimes feel like a mini vacay (but you can't wait to get home to cuddles).
15. Your TV will be permanently stuck on ABC Kids.
16. Babies really do bounce. They bruise but they don’t break.
17. Nappy wipes are lifesavers. Take them everywhere.
18. The house will get messy, quickly, get use to it.
19. There’s no better smell than a baby after a bath.
20. Routine helps but children are not robots.
21. Good grandparents are priceless. Be nice to your mother-in-law you will need her!
22. Toilet time is often a family affair.
23. A little bit of “you time” makes a lot of difference.
24. Take a deep breathe. Count to 10. The crying will stop.
25. Going to the shops used to be a leisure activity, not so much anymore.Having trouble getting your baby to sleep? Click here for no more restless nights!
26. You often feel like you don’t know what you’re doing.
27. Dr Phil is a total highlight of a home day
28. Don’t compare yourself to the mum on Facebook whose house is immaculate, bakes cookies all day and whose child never cries. No one posts the tough parts of parenting or photos of their kids throwing a tantrum. Social media is NOT real life.
29. You will take an excessive amount of pictures of your child whether you like photos or not!
30. Learn to laugh at the crazy; poo on the floor, crayon on the walls, nail polish everywhere! That‘s a pretty average day with a toddler.
31. Spontaneity is difficult. Plan Romance.
32. Find a good babysitter. It could save your sanity.
33. Packing light with kids is actually impossible.
34. When it’s quiet they’re usually up to mischief. Find them, stop them.
35. You spend more time dressing your infant than you do yourself.
36. Get used to spew. On you. A lot.
37. Children will do what you do, not what you say.
38. Sleep and bowel movements become the hot topics of conversations for at least 6 months.
39. Dr Google will be your new best friend but best to call an expert if your child is sick.
40. A sleeping baby is actually the most divine thing in the world!
41. An awake upset screaming newborn is actually the most stressful thing in the world (particularly at 3am in the morning).
42. There will always be lots of work to do, you have to choose to stop, sit on the floor and ENJOY your children.
43. Toilet training is hazardous.
44. Don’t debate over parenting style, the point is LOVE whichever way you create it.
45. Children go from little angels to little devils in less then 10 seconds. It’s ok. They are just confused little angels.
46. You will want to just sit by your child’s bed and watch them sleep.
47. Toddlers give the best cuddles.
48. Being a parent can be one of the most challenging, exhausting, draining experiences in your life but it is GREATLY overshadowed by many tiny moments that will make you feel like your heart is going to physically explode.
49. The love you have for your child is like no other on this earth but you won’t really “get it” till you get there.
50. Lastly, say goodbye to sleep. For reals.