For all the girls that have gone through a break-up. This is for you.
Firstly, I’m sorry. Break-ups suck! They hurt and if I was in the same city as you I’d give you a big mumma bear hug (or at least I’d try haha). Relationships are messy and complicated, and a lot harder than people make them out to be. When I was teen I thought it'd be super easy to find the "one" and it wouldn't take long for him to put a ring on it. Sadly, it didn't happen like that for me, actually I'm not sure it's happened like that for anyone. I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks and felt the sting of being dumped, but one thing I know is; the story ain't over yet. So dry your eyes sweet girl. God is really good at putting us back together. He is a good dad and a beautiful healer. Give Him the pieces and let Him restore your soul. While you're doing that, here's some practical advice that'll help you survive this break-up.
1. CLOSE THE DOOR AND THROW AWAY THE KEY.
So often when we call it quits in a relationship, we don't actually shut the door entirely (just in case it’s "meant to be"). Truth is, you’ll never actually move past him until you fully let go of him. So slam that door girl. If it's right and he wants to get back in, he’ll knock it down. But for now let him go, reset and restore. A wound can’t heal if it’s constantly opened.
Even if you’ve both decided to stay friends (because you’re mature and chill like that ha), it’s definitely best to fully disconnect right after the break up. No talk, no text and definitely no Facebook stalking (which I am totally guilty of, well more like MSN stalking, FB wasn't around in my day). It will feed old feelings and most likely cause new ones like – sadness, loss, pain (all that tragic stuff that makes us want to eat a tub of ice-cream). On that note, get into the ice-cream girl (jokes but kinda serious)!
3. THROW YOURSELF INTO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY.
Not stupid impulsive stuff like getting plastered and making out with his best friend, but heartfelt, replenishing, rejuvenating activities that feed your soul. Church, youth, exercise, hobbies are all good places to do this. Whatever makes you come alive. Do it.
4. GET AROUND YA GIRLS.
In a time like this you need your gal pals. Don’t isolate yourself and try and avoid people because you don’t want to talk about him and what happened. That’s ok. You don’t need to talk about it. Lean into supportive, loving, positive friendships. It will do you a world of good!
5. DUMP THE TRIGGERS.
I know this is hard, but get rid of anything from him or that reminds you of him. It will make the healing process so much harder if you’re going to bed every night in one if his old t-shirts. When I broke up with my high school boyfriend I had to dump a lot of photos and mementos because, plain and simple, it made me miss him. So trash the triggers and delete the pictures.
6. EMBRACE YOUR FEELINGS, BUT DON'T LIVE BY THEM.
It’s okay that you still have feelings for him, but trust me, if you don’t feed them eventually they’ll dwindle and die. ;) It’s ok to be angry, to be hurt, to be sad, to be depressed even. We are human beings and we feel! God gets it. You are not a failure because things didn’t work out. This is life. Some days we "win", other days we "learn". Don’t let your feelings dictate your actions. We can’t stop the waves from coming in but we can choose which ones we ride.
7. LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, the story ain't over yet. Trust me, I thought I was going to marry my high school boyfriend (awkward because most people who know me know who that is) but I didn’t and that's okay. He wasn't right for me and I wasn't right for him. Life is long! Just a few years after one of the most painful break ups, I met a guy that swept me right off my feet and still does to this day. We've been together nearly 8 years and all the past relationships feel like a distant memory.
Time doesn’t heal all wounds, it’s what you do with that time. Give it God.