When I was a teenager I kissed all the boys. And when I say all I mean at least half my class, (gulp!) At 18 I read a book that changed my life and I decided I should probably stop doing that. I made up my mind the next guy that I dated I wanted to marry and well…I did.
He was hot. He was my best friend. And I was a virgin.
To most people that is crazy and you probably think I am a mega prude!
That couldn’t be further from the truth. I absolutely adore my man friend and the bedroom is never a place of boredom.
Saving sex till my wedding night wasn’t because I was a super Christian and I was trying to win brownie points with God. I did it because I wanted my husband to be my first and my last. Sex was something special and sacred and I wanted to give my heart and my body to a man worthy of it’s keeping.
Was marrying a virgin easy? Heck no! Did I make a bunch of mistakes along the way? Can I hear an “oh yea”
Here’s my story.
Growing up both my parents expressed a faith in God and would attend Church sporadically (My dad more so then my mum) but neither had a revelation of grace and struggled with their own issues. At times Alcohol gripped my dads life while my mother suffered from her own and mental & health challenges. Substance abuse, conflict & the eventual marriage breakdown permeated our home. It was not a place of refuge or moral bearing.
I even remember one occasion my mum told me to make sure to “have safe sex and use a condom” when I slept with my boyfriend.
Thankfully I attended a great Christian School and received some guidance when it came to sexuality. Sadly it did not stop me from falling into the dating game and seeking affection from any guy that would give it.
My high school years were riddled with multiple short-lived romances. I often joke that I pretty much dated all the guys in my grade (It’s a little bit of an exaggeration but not too far from the truth)
In grade 10 I got in a relationship with a boy that lasted roughly 3 years. I genuinely thought I was in love. We connected. Emotionally & Physically. (No further than 1st base!) I had no regard for the repercussions of our relationship or the heartbreak that would come if we were to call it quits.
One day sitting in our quadrangle at school a good friend of mine asked me a question that literally changed everything.
Out of the blue she blurted out “Sabrina do you think you’re going to marry……Brad” (Ok that’s not his real name)
I laughed uncomfortably and muttered “Well no probably not….I’m like 17 lol I’m not even thinking about getting married”
She went on. “Well what’s the point of dating him?”
“Um I dunno. I like him, I’ve never really thought about it”
It sounds super simple. But this was my total light bulb moment! It felt like a brick to the face and for once I actually thought about my future and how the choices I was making today would affect tomorrow.
In that moment I realized that ONE DAY I wanted to get married and what I did TODAY would either prepare a firm foundation or a fragile one.
So at 18 I broke up with my high-school crush and began to fix my eyes on my Creator. Instead of chasing boys I chased God and learnt to get my value, self-esteem and validation from His thoughts about me, not guys. (Because His are always the same! Beautiful, Adored, Gifted, Beloved!)
In hot pursuit of Gods purpose for my life I vowed to stay single and despite having feelings for sooooooo many guys along the way I didn’t act on them. I ignored the urge for hot summer flings and I’m so glad because sooner rather then later I found my forever boy.
He was actually my BFF and on more the one occasion I told my girlfriends. “Oh no not Ben, that’s so weird!”
But “never ever” went to “I do” and we wed at the sweet age of 21. (The wedding night was pretty special if you know what I’m sayin) I think an emoticon with a winky face is really the only way to describe it.
We’ve been together for 8 years now & happened to procreate a couple of times, with one cheeky little daughter Liberty and one sweet little dude Lincoln lion.
I have NEVER EVER regretted letting God write my love story.
Neither will you. Promise.
The photo on the left was taken when we were 20 years old and not dating. The pic on the right was taken after 8 years of marriage and two beautiful babies later ;) Never says never ;)