I can guarantee you one thing in marriage: your spouse will hurt you (and you'll probably hurt them too). I know I've hurt Ben too many times to count. Too many times I’ve uttered callous words of criticism in the heat of an argument. Too many times I’ve held onto resentment for a broken promise or unmet expectation. Too many times I’ve fought to be right, rather than happy. Hurt is inevitable, but offence is up to you.
I‘ve seen so many young women desperate to get married because they believed it would fill that tiny hole in their heart and make them feel complete. If I am totally honest with you, that young woman was me. Subconsciously I assumed when I became a wife, any sense of self-doubt and insecurity would simply flee. Unfortunately, who you are before you get married is who you take with you into matrimony
Ultimately we are all given the ability to choose. To choose our attitude, to choose our spouse, to choose happiness in life. Sadly, we often forget this truth and allow our emotions to dictate the climate of our lives. Well today I’d love to remind you (and me) that the ball is in your court and the state of your marriage is not up to fate; it’s what you make it friend
Grace without truth leads to behaviour without restraint and societies that say anything goes. Truth without grace leaders to judgemental christians, meaningless rules and empty religion. Both can be incredible damaging. The gospel should never be altered so that is palatable to mans taste. It's not meant to be easy to swallow, it is meant to change people from the inside out when they partake of the gift freely given to them.
Before I was married, I had this picture in my head of what I thought marriage would be. It was a dreamy blend of "The Notebook" and "A Walk to Remember". Of course I'd be a good wife; patient, honouring and graceful. My husband would be cuter than Channing Tatum, charming, thoughtful & an incredible listener. (Just like when we were dating!) Then I got hitched and entered the world of "real" marriage.
My virginity was not a determination of my Christianity, it was an outworking of my faith I did not do it to please God or other Christians. I did it because I believed God was a loving dad that had my best interests at heart. I believed His word was truth and a guide for getting the most out of life.
If people think marriage is all about the wedding, they’ve got it all wrong. The wedding is just the beginning. Sadly, the culture we live in today always seems to make it the end! Every movie climaxes at a passionate kiss or a big white dress! Well, Hollywood has done a lousy job at depicting real life. The focus has always been falling in love, when to be honest that’s the easy part. It’s staying in love that can be hard.