YOUR HEART IS A TREASURE, NOT A TOY.
DON'T GIVE IT TO A BOY WHO'S ONLY INTO PLEASURE, NO DESIRE FOR FOREVER.
(Or girl, it just didn't rhyme guys but the same principle applies). Your heart is precious and it's worth protecting.
If you've been around Church for more than 2 minutes you've probably heard someone, "Guard your heart". Well it's good advice! No, it's great advice! The bible tells us in Proverbs that from our heart everything else flows. So it makes sense to protect it.
To keep it soft we need to guard against offence, to keep it sweet we need to guard against bitterness, to keep it whole we need to guard against heartbreak.
Today I want to talk about "guarding your heart" in the romantic sense. I've walked the journey with so many young people who've wanted to, "guard their hearts" but they just didn't know how. So here are a 3 practical tips that are a good place to start.
1. DON'T REVEAL ALL OF YOUR FEELINGS, ALL OF THE TIME
Guess what, it's okay to have feelings. We wouldn't be human without them. God wired us to be emotional, relational and sexual beings, but He also instructed us to rule over our emotions and desires, and not let them rule over us. If you've got a crush on a guy (or a girl), instead of just letting your feelings run wild, take a breathe, get some perspective and invite God and His word into the equation.
If it's really meant to be you won't need to rush it, and you won't need to talk about it to everyone, especially the person you're crushing on! #justbeingreal
I've seen it a hundred times; a girl will like a guy, so she'll start hanging out with him, group dates quickly turn into one on ones. In just 2 weeks, they've talked about how much they like each other, when they're gonna get married and what they'll name their children, but of course they're "just friends" (Again there is nothing wrong with any of those things, in the right time, place and season).
Listen up, amazing young person! Instead of rushing in and telling that person exactly how you feel about them, slow down. Things that start quickly, often end just as fast.
if you're "just friends", act like, JUST friends.
Not boyfriend and girlfriend without the relationship status. You don't need to be dating to get hurt. You can do that by literally telling someone how much you like them (even love them), connecting with them on a bunch of levels, and then having those expectations shattered when it doesn't go the way you wanted it too. So if there's a guy or a girl you're into, that's cool,
just don't commit to the future, when you haven't even COMMITTED to the present.
This leads me directly to point...
2. DON'T MAKE OUT, BEFORE YOU MAKE IT OFFICIAL.
You think I'm kinda joking. Guys for serious. I know teenagers. I was one (duh!) and I've worked with and lead many over the last decade. If you want to actually guard your heart, my goodness, guard those luscious lips! Don't let some guy or girl stick their tongue down your throat unless they have the guts to at least ask you out.
you don't guard your heart by pashing off with every random that says they like you.
I remember having a friend once (a beautiful, confident, Christian friend) who would regularly hang out with this boy she was keen on, and all he wanted to do was make-out with her (because she was like a total babe!) I remember asking her one day, "So is he your boyfriend?" She hesitated, "I really don't know, I like him! I want to date him". Well he never did ask her out and, at the time, that was a very bitter pill to swallow. Thankfully this girl is now married to a different dude. One who manned up and put a ring on it.
Honestly if he's not willing to commit to you, don't let him get into you (in any way, shape or form).
3. STOP SEEING EVERYONE AS A POTENTIAL PARTNER.
I know what it's like to be 18 and on the look out for "Mr Right" (trust me, my husband radar was strong) but, guess what, one day (maybe in the near future, maybe 10 years down the track) you'll find a great guy or girl and get serious. Until then, chill out. Again take a breathe. Stop looking at everyone as a prospective candidate, mentally ticking off your "husband or wife" list every time a new person joins your connect group (Am I right)? It's not the best move to pursue every person with "potential", trust me, husband hunting is exhausting. Relax, let nature takes it's course and God be involved in the steering of the ship.
You can't get your heart broken if you don't give it away in the first place. Give it to God. Let Him have your undivided attention and when the time is right, the right person will find you.
a woman's heart should be so hidden in god, that a man has to seek him just to find her.
Hope that helps! Much love ladies....and gents x