6 TYPES OF GUYS TO AVOID
Disclaimer:* This article is presented from a Christian perspective and is intended for individuals who share or are interested in aligning with biblical values. Please be aware that it is not meant to impose these beliefs on others, but rather to offer insights and information for those who may find it relevant.
No one has it all together, including you and me. So, let's not misconstrue this article as a quest for perfection in finding a partner, because it's not. It's merely suggesting the importance of taking a moment to reflect on what we desire in a relationship and being mindful of potential warning signs. As I said, perfection is unattainable, but there's certainly merit in balancing emotional instincts with logical reasoning when it comes to relationships.
So, ladies here are 6 "types" of guys to cross off that list.
1. THE "HALF COMMITTED" GUY
He's into you one week, but the next week he's like, "let's just be friends." He says you're his girlfriend, just don't tell anyone. Okay. Cool. Thanks. One week it's flowers and phone calls, the next it's dead silence. Literally nothing. Zilch. Nada. Not even a Facebook comment. Listen, beautiful, if your relationship feels a bit like a yo-yo, it might just be time to cut that string? You deserve a guy who is totally into you, not playing games and dragging you along for the ride. Yes, there may be a stage where you're both trying to figure out what you want and whether getting together is the right thing to do. However, if it's a constant occurrence and his default is always the "maybe" game, give him a miss and go hang with some people who actually value you.
2. THE "KIND OF CHRISTIAN" GUY
He says he's a Christian, but his words and actions don’t follow suit. He knows what to say and just how to say it, but when you're alone he never even mentions his faith. He puts on a front, but deep down you know his life isn't heading in the same direction as yours. He attends church, but it's more about the social aspect and keeping you "happy". Don't settle for a lukewarm, half-baked church boy, go for a genuine God-loving man who reflects the character of God in all facets of his life, especially his relationship with you.
3. THE "HOOK UP ONLY" GUY
If a guy only calls when he wants to drop in for a quick make-out session, he's using you, not respecting you as he should. You might convince yourself that someday it will be more, but until he's willing to discuss boundaries and commitment, stop giving yourself away with no strings attached. If he can fulfill his desires without taking responsibility, he'll continue taking advantage until you put an end to it. Healthy relationships are founded on more than just physical intimacy, so consider if a fleeting romance (with little potential) is truly worth the disappointment when it ends.
4. THE "NEVER HAVE A JOB" GUY
If he can't take care of himself, he definitely can't take care of you. If he's 29, and still letting his mumma do his washing and pack his lunch, stop, don't even go there girlfriend. Choose a man who's interested in finding a wife (not a second mother). Pick a guy that's motivated, hard-working and for goodness sake, has his own ride. Yes, there may be small seasons of searching for the right job or getting knocked back a few times. There may be moments where he’s studying or trying to figure out the direction of his life. Don’t hear what I’m not saying. The moral of the story isn't "only date millionaires", the punchline is pick a man that doesn't rely on you to survive and pay for his dinner every date night. #scrubisaguythatcantgetnolovefromme
5. the "white lies" guy
If your guy is constantly telling white lies and sneaking around behind your back, say goodbye before you begin. It may start off small like "Nah, I'm just at home watching TV". Next minute you see a photo of him pop up on Facebook at the club in the city. Remember trust is a must in any good relationship! You want your boyfriend (and future husband) to be honest with you, about the big things and the little. If he's constantly vague about where he is or who he's with, it's quite possible he's hiding more serious things. Transparency is a trait that you both need to bring to the table.
6. the "super controlling" guy
It's normal for couples to text each other a few times a day to say, "I love you," and ask,"hey what are you up to babe”? It's not normal for a boyfriend to want to know where you are, what you're doing and who you're with every moment of the day. It's not a good thing to be in relationship with a guy who keeps track of you 24/7. In fact, it's a little scary! You want a guy that trusts you, not controls you. You want a man that's secure in your love, not jealous every time you talk to his friend. If he's constantly snooping through your phone, don't ignore the warning bells going off in your head. A guy that plays mind games and tries to manipulate, guilt trip, or gas light you is definitely not worth your time.
Like I said at the start, we all come into our relationships with hang-ups and weaknesses. I’m not encouraging you to dismiss your partner or write someone off because they’re literally just human.
This is just food for thought, to stop and actually think about the relationships you get yourself into and ask yourself a few tough questions, like do I have clear goal-posts, standards and expectations? It’s so easy to be solely led by emotions and opportunity, when godly wisdom encourages us to pursue relationships out of conviction and intention.
To end, don’t forget to take a look in the mirror and pay just as much attention to who you are and who you’re becoming, because you teach people how to treat you and you’ll end up attracting who you are yourself.
