Boys, relationships, sex, it's all so exciting. And your desire for it all, is actually completely normal. Just like most of you, I loved getting attention from guys. I particularly loved when a mysterious, unknown guy showed interest in me above all other girls. This was the scenario of my first kiss. I was 15 years old, at a music festival when a cute guy from one of the bands started talking to me. One thing lead to another, and before I knew it, we were making out. It didn’t last long because I immediately realised this was ‘bad’ according to Christian standards and left the situation quickly. The poor guy didn’t know what was happening – one minute we were kissing, the next I was running away.

But, I had a taste of the adrenaline and excitement that comes from kissing a stranger, and a year later, at the same festival, found myself kissing another handsome, mysterious boy. This pattern continued for the next couple of years at festivals & parties. My revelation for purity as a teenager was quite shallow. I knew I wasn’t supposed to have sex before marriage, but figured anything else was ok. Kissing soon became touching and more, but never sex.

When I was 17 I started dating my first ‘real’ boyfriend. He was good Christian guy. But given my history with other guys, he expected that I would be willing to do everything I’d already done, with him as well. So, inevitably we became physical very quickly. Our relationship was primarily physical. It lasted 10 months and he broke up with me. I was of course heart broken, and feeling dirty.

Given, he couldn’t love me. I wondered if any decent Christian guy would. I thought there was no way any good guy would want to be with me now. But God is so gracious!

After I moved away from home, I met a guy. Not just any guy. An incredibly cute, God-loving, kingdom-building, Church-serving, talented kind of guy. He was sweet. He pursued me, loved me and treated me with absolute respect, despite my background. It turns out, I was still worthy of an amazing, decent guy. My guy had not even kissed girl before, he completely saved himself just for me.

We have been married for 5 years now, have a gorgeous baby boy and Youth Pastor together.

I OFTEN HAVE THAT CLICH'E FEELING OF "I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW LUCKY I AM. BUT THE TRUTH IS, IT ISN'T LUCK. IT'S GOD. 

We are all sinners, and all fall short of the glory of God. But God sees us through the blood of Jesus and we are made righteous again. Completely clean, still in the wrapper, brand new. No behaviour can separate us from the love of God.

AND BY HIS GRACE, I HAVE A WONDERFUL MARRIAGE AND AN EVEN BETTER HUSBAND. AND NO MATTER WHAT YOUR PAST, WITH GODS GRACE YOUR FUTURE IS BRIGHT.