CONFESSIONS OF A CONFIDENT SINGLE FEMALE

Society often tells singles that there must be something wrong with them, and you should do everything you can to change that relationship status. From one single to another, don’t listen! You are no less of a human or have any less quality of life because you're single. You are amazing!

So when I was 13 I decided I would vow to God that I wouldn’t date while I was in high school, as I wanted to focus on Jesus and school and not be distracted. So fast forward 5 years when I am turning 18, and in my head now it was time for me to meet my future husband, get married and have babies. I wasn’t someone that wanted a career in any particular profession; my heart's desire was simply to be a wife and a mum. I thought that was my only purpose in life, little did I know that I couldn’t/can’t fathom the great things that He is preparing me for... (1 Corinthians 2:9)

What I didn’t know in this season was that I had placed my identity in my marital status, and in man, and not in Jesus.

The thing with mankind is that they will always fail you, they will disappoint you, and let you down at some point. If your hope is for a man to fulfil you then let me be the one to tell you that you are going to be hurt/disappointed. I had placed my identity in getting married and having children, so you can imagine my frustration and impatience with God when this clearly was not happening.

I thought and spoke myself into becoming depressed and anxious. I began to think thoughts like “you’re ugly” “you’re fat” “no one loves you” “you will never be married” “who would want to marry you” “there must be something wrong with me”. Now let me tell you this truth right now- if you don’t know Truth, then you won’t recognise a lie. I didn’t know Truth; I hadn’t had a revelation of the unconditional love of my Father in heaven. I had no idea who I was in Him. So I listened to and believed every lie the enemy whispered in my ear. The greatest secret the enemy doesn’t want you to know is who you are. So allow me to tell you, you are a daughter/son of the most high God, and that identity can crush the enemy and all his lies.

So I’m 18 and I have no idea who I am in God, or what I’m even doing with my life now, because I just assumed I would get married, have babies and stay home to look after them, and that was not happening, so a few years go by and l am 22 and still single. I have an incredible encounter with the Spirit of God, and my whole world gets turned upside down in the best way ever. The lies the enemy fed me were destroyed, I got a revelation of my identity, as His daughter, and most importantly I learnt a very powerful truth,

MARRIAGE ISN'T THE POINT, JESUS IS THE POINT.

The end goal of christianity isn’t to have a family, but to become more like Christ. If you desire a man/woman above God you're missing it, marriage is now your god. He created you for relationship with Him first before anything or anyone else. We are to lay our lives down for Him, that includes laying your desires at his feet, and trusting that for those who love God all things will work together for good. (Romans 8:28) He also promises you a future (Jeremiah 29:11). So please relax it’s going to be okay. I had a moment of conviction when I realised that the more I worried and stressed about who I would marry and what He had planned for me ( when He tells us in His word specifically not to worry), I was actually telling God I didn’t trust Him with my future, I had not fully yielded and surrendered every area of my life to Him, I proceeded to get on my knees and apologise, for it is only in Him that I am fully fulfilled.

I promise when you seek after Him, spend time with Him and enjoy this season with Him, He will look after the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). I am now 26 and still single, and God knows the desires of my heart, but I can honestly tell you, I am the happiest I have ever been in my life! I promise I am not saying that in a corny christian way I am so serious. Immersing myself in His presence daily, I find my joy, peace and identity in Him, and there is no place I would rather be. If being single is what He has planned for me for the rest of my life here on earth, I am so ok with that! Don’t waste another moment of this awesome season that you’re in. Know that there may be things He needs you to accomplish and teach you in this season that will prepare and equip you for your future. Change your perspective and allow Him to woo you into a real intimate relationship with Him.

If there is one point that you take away from reading this today let it be this. No man/woman will EVER validate you, ever fulfil you, and ever complete you. There is only one who can do all the above, His name is Jesus and He died on the cross to reconcile you into relationship with the Father, forever! How amazing!

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT ANY MAN THAT SACRIFICES HIS LIFE FOR ME, WELL IT'S KIND OF A SWOON MOMENT.

If you call yourself a Christian, then trust that God has your best interests at heart. He knows the desires of your heart, He hears every whispered prayer, and every silenced prayer you wanted to pray and couldn't bring yourself to. You may not understand everything that is happening in your life right now, but know that God is in control. He loves you so much! Trust Him!