Emotions aren’t enemies, they’re indicators. A lot like little signals on a dashboard, they communicate to us what’s going on beneath the surface, often rooted in our unconscious cognitions and core beliefs.

Consider the iceberg model. It’s a metaphor we often use in psychology and counselling to illustrate the concept that only a small portion of our feelings, and behaviours are visible to others, while majority of our emotions lie beneath the surface.

And these feelings carry profound significance as they serve as messengers, revealing to us a deeper understanding of ourselves and our inner experiences.

By paying attention to these signals, we can uncover valuable information about our needs, desires, and areas of healing.

On the other hand, by ignoring or dismissing them deprives us of the opportunity to learn from our emotions and can lead to a sense of disconnection from ourselves.

A lot like a volcano, suppressed emotions may lie dormant for a time, but sooner or later they breakthrough, manifesting in outbursts of anger, bouts of depression, or physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches. Largely, addictive and avoidance behaviours are a result of unmet needs and unresolved trauma.

So, rather than suppressing or denying our emotions, we are called to face them courageously.

Facing our feelings means acknowledging their presence, understanding their origins, and allowing ourselves to experience them fully.

By acknowledging and addressing the hidden aspects of our emotional iceberg, we can prevent these eruptions and promote greater well-being. Healthy relationships, intentional habits and therapy are all environments that help us explore and process these deeper layers of emotion, uncovering root causes and facilitating growth.

Here a few helpful tips to help you explore what’s going on beneath the surface.

CONSIDER THERAPY

I am a huge advocate of therapy, and not just because I’m a therapist, but because I’ve experienced the first-hand benefits of therapy. The early years of being married, I started to realise I had some unresolved issues and went a saw a counsellor. Honestly, it was life changing and probably one of the reasons I started studying psychology and counselling. Fast forward, 15 years and I still think every person regardless of their background, or profession, could benefit from seeing a mental health professional at some stage in their lives.

Therapy provides a safe, supportive environment where you can openly explore your emotions and unresolved pain. Therapists are like compassionate guides, there to lend an understanding ear without any hint of judgment. Through various techniques, therapy sets the stage for healing, addressing cognitive distortions and maladaptive coping mechanisms, helping you bounce back stronger and feel better about yourself.

2. Increase your emotional literacy

Increasing emotional literacy simply means developing a deeper understanding and awareness of your own emotions, as well as the ability to recognise, interpret, and respond effectively to the emotions of others.

This process often begins with increasing self-awareness, including becoming better at identifying your emotions. Fun fact, naming how you’re feeling is a practical psychological tool, with research indicating that labelling your feelings can assist in reducing their intensity and aiding emotional processing.

By accurately identifying and categorising your emotions, you gain a clearer grasp of your internal state and managing your feelings with greater emotional intelligence.

3. TUNE INTO YOUR body

Listening to your body when it comes to emotions involves paying attention to physical sensations and cues that accompany different emotional states. It means recognising how emotions manifest physically, such as changes in heart rate, muscle tension, stomach discomfort, or shallow breathing. By tuning into these bodily signals, you gain insight into your own emotional experiences and respond appropriately. This practice encourages self-awareness and mindfulness, allowing you to acknowledge and validate your feelings without judgment.

Furthermore, listening to your body facilitates emotional regulation by providing early warning signs of escalating emotions, enabling proactive strategies for managing stress and promoting overall well-being. Ultimately, listening to your body fosters a deeper connection between mind and body, enhancing emotional intelligence and empowering individuals to navigate their emotions more effectively.

4. allow GOD IN

For the Christian reading this, pursuing emotional wholeness means inviting God into every part of your life and trusting Him to provide wisdom, comfort, and grace. By aligning our thoughts and beliefs with God's truth, we experience transformation from the inside out.

Ultimately, facing our feelings and seeking emotional healing points us back to Jesus, the ultimate source of hope, redemption, and restoration.

He understands our pain intimately and invites us to bring our burdens to Him. As we look to Jesus and allow Him to work in our lives, we find comfort, and healing for our wounded hearts.

God created us as whole beings, encompassing social, emotional, intellectual, physical, and spiritual aspects. Ignoring any aspects of ourselves inevitably leads to destructive consequences. So, stop compartmentalising your life and let God into all of it, because a congruent and integrated life is the path to wholeness and freedom.